The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? prune juice? Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Kitchy-Kitchy? , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? Shriver. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? Q: Name three movements. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Towering Inferno. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. A: Bedbug. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. Get Image May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. A: Dustin Hoffman. A: "Here's Boomer." Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga? Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. Line: 315 Get Image Page 1 of 4 The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. A: Short eyes. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. Hand made. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. A: Unleash. on a country? Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. A: Pat and Debby Boone. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Is that a reptile? A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Carnac the Magnificent. . A: England, France and Greece. Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. us? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman A: Double hernia. A: Burn the candle at both ends. [applause]. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? A: The Orient express. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. A: Timbuktoo. A: O'Hare. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. Or fastest delivery Mon, Mar 6 . "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. sister's hooped skirt. pants. Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") A: Once is not enough. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? car? A: Flypaper. Margaret's door? plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. . The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Function: require_once. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." . CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. A: The Rock of Gibralter. May the bird of paridise fly up your noseMay an elephant caress you with its toesMay your wife be plaqued with runners in her hoseMay the bird of paridise fly up your nose, Ron Williams (not Tom Nadas, but an incredible simulation)--, UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tomCSNET: tom@toronto, "Look over there, a dry ice factory. A: Snap, crackle, pop. A: Shake-N-Bake. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . A: Double trouble. The Johnny Carson Show. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. A: Executive action. Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. (the curse). A: Earth, Wind and Fire. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. In article <9@psivax.UUCP> a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes: I remember some of these from some book or other on the joys of. A: Supervisor. Curses, Curses, Curses . Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." Tell a friend Ask a question. A: Groundhog. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Organized in groups of 10. The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? A: Fit to be tied. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. girlfriend. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? Q: What's the major cause of divorce? (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Only this curse was not humorous at all. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. The Question: Name an elephant, a donkey, and a Rino. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. KeyCastr. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. A: Disjoint. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. contest. Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? A: Lady-in-waiting. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Commissary. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. The answer: "Sis boom bah." ", Robert Bickford (r@well.uucp)================================================| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Here's how it played out on air. the Denver Nuggets. . Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and (Jews never kneel in prayer.). During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . drip. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? As a child of four can plunger. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? NO ONE! . Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? A: You asked for it. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. A: The diamond lane. grandfather. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com . , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. A: Tail of Two Cities. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. My favorite Carnac(sp?) . The crowd is hostile. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? Q: What do crabs get high on? Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California